The Internet has made snail mail virtually superfluous with its instant e-mail and instant messaging. The emphasis, of course, is on superfluous since snail mail still lands on your Letter Tray . Or else, what good is it?
Anyways, here are a few snail mail examples that you would not want to touch with a ten-foot stick, much less with Wooden Letter Openers. Now, start pleading that you don’t!
Credit Card Bill in the Quadrillions
Plastic can be such a blessing or a curse, depending on whether it’s buying time or pay-up time. You ought to know which is which by now. At least, I do!
But what will you do when you receive a credit card statement running above $23 quadrillion? Yes, that’s more than 2,000 times the nation’s debt! No idea how 23 quadrillion looks like? Envision 15 zeros after the number 23 and you can be sure that none of your descendants till the end of time will have any money just to pay off that amount of debt.
Fortunately, it appeared that there was just a technical glitch in the Visa structure, thus, the huge error. But not before you almost had a heart attack!
Government Letter Asking Residents to Spy on Neighbors
And then there’s the mail from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, er, local authorities asking you to become the neighborhood spy. Well, it would have been good if only you received the missive.
Unfortunately, every household in the whole damn street got one! So, what does that make all of you – the gringo equivalent of Fidel Castro’s infamous Neighborhood Defense Committee spying on each other ad infinitum?
You are supposed to report neighbors to a new hotline number for sins like throwing garbage into drains and ditches, sweeping twigs into the streets, and even changing oil and antifreeze! Perhaps the local authorities could have done better with surveillance cameras.
IRS Tax Collection Letters
Well, we all receive tax collection letters from the hated IRS. What will take the socks off you, however, is that those letters demand taxes that your estranged spouse should have paid but was unable to. Since you are still the lawful wife, you will be forced to pay up!
And believe me, there are horror stories of IRS agents abusing their authority on the matter. Taxpayers are assessed varying amounts of taxes due and payable from one month to the next, thus, breeding bewilderment and frustration.
So, the next time you feel like not putting engravable pens to the paper to write your sister a loving note, just think of these horrible letters reaching her. That should be adequate inspiration to cheer her up via snail mail!
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