Playing over the internet using cash on one of the free poker sites can be pleasing but can also take its toll. This article aims to give you a variety of ideas to keep the game refreshing, ok it’s an alternative guide!
1. As anxiety has maximised due to an overload of hope on the river, run to the fridge freezer grab an ice pack and wrap this round your head. This will dissolve the anxiety around your head, but may make you cold.
2. After spending half the night on the laptop you may notice and become concerned that the meat and two vegetables are slightly over cooked- I suggest asking your other half to get on their knees and blow on the affected area. As an added bonus you can also put your feet up.
For the sci-fi fans out there, I suggest wrapping yourself head to toe in tin-foil as this will also stop opponents and uso’s intercepting your thoughts.
3. When suffering finger cramp from obsessive bluffing, swap hands and rest your playing finger in a pot of low fat yoghurt. Allow five minutes to soothe then continue. Eat yoghurt at a later date.
4. A late night game or after a good few hours you may start to drift off and hear the land of nod calling. The best method of staying awake is to smash a six inch heavy duty nail into the wall directly behind you. You then need to wedge a few stacks of cards below the front of your front two chair legs to make the chair unsteady. You can now rest assured that if you do nod off you will fall back straight into the nail and probably never wake up again- now there’s an incentive!
5. After a long period of time sitting down and playing you will eventually have back pain- a good solution is to pinch your checks several times which will not only give you a nice blush effect it will also give you something else to think about!
I have developed these methods myself, and I assure you they work. Remember: Tea Cosy. Blowing. Tin Foil. Yoghurt. Sellotape. Pinch.
Just like Gran use to say. free poker is fun dear but when you get online Poker fatigue you need to stop or take drastic action!
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